Tristesse
by The Angel of Clarity
Summary: One night changes everything for Marinette and Chat Noir, and now they both have to live with the fact that their hearts are much more complicated than they could have imagined.


Marinette was having an aneurysm.

There had been a brief moment when she'd woken up; warm and snuggly under a massive pile of her softest quilts, a brief moment when she'd thought that the whole thing had been a dream. Not that she'd admit to dreaming about doing _those things _with Chat Noir. And then she'd stretched and felt an unfamiliar sting between her legs and the memories of the night before came flooding back.

Cue the pterodactyl screech.

A small, red, blur shot through the air before hovering in front of her screaming charge's face. "Marinette! If you're not careful, your parents will hear you!"

Slamming herself, face-first, into her (unfortunately) cat-shaped pillow, Marinette released an even-louder, even-longer scream.

The Goddess of Creation, known more affectionately as Tikki, had become used to Marinette's hysterics since the girl had taken on the mantle of Ladybug. But after bearing witness to the _events _that had unfolded the night before, Tikki had a feeling that this was going to be worse than all the Adrien-related freakouts combined.

"Oh Marinette," she said as she gently rubbed the girl's bare shoulder, shaking from the sobs. "It's going to be alright."

The teenager emerged from her cocoon of sadness at the comforting words. Her face was pale and her eyes shined with unshed tears. Clutching the pillow tighter, and pulling it to cover her chest, Marinette sat up and faced her kwami.

"Tikki! I… And he… The two of us… Tikki! How did we let this happen?"

Tikki's large, blue eyes narrowed. "_We _didn't have much to do with it, Marinette. I was minding my own business in my hidey-whole while the two of you made mooney eyes at each other."

Marinette's previously pale face reddened until she resembled a very ripe tomato. "We weren't making mooney eyes!"

Flying over to Marinette's bursting closet, Tikki rummaged around before returning with a simple dress that Marinette slipped over her head. "I'm only millenia years old. I think I know what mooney eyes look like by now." Hanging next to Marinette's head, Tikki pressed a small kiss against her cheek. "I think Chat Noir is more charming than we gave him credit for."

Marinette didn't answer, swinging her legs over the side of the bed before standing up and wincing. "Speaking of charming, I don't think I've ever needed to go to the bathroom so badly. With a grimace, she carefully lowered herself down the trapdoor, pointedly ignoring yet another look from her kwami.

"We're not done talking about this Marinette!"

Her body was sore in a way that was different from taking a hit as Ladybug, and when she relieved herself Marinette was taken aback by the way it hurt. A physical reminder of what she'd done.

Looking at herself in the mirror, Marinette didn't know what she expected. The same dark hair, the same blue eyes. On the outside, nothing had really changed. Were those really the lips Chat had kissed the night before? Was this really the body he had held? Was she really the same person she had been yesterday?

Knowing she couldn't avoid the judgemental eyes of her kwami for much longer, Marinette left the bathroom and returned to her bedroom, grateful the early hours in the bakery meant there was little chance of encountering her parents in the hallway.

The morning light made her familiar bedroom looked completely different. Her eyes were drawn to the empty plate that had held the pastries they had eaten together. The floor that was covered with the clothes he had methodically stripped off her skin, leaving her bare to his touch.

It was too much. Marinette burst into tears.

"I just don't know what I was thinking. It was a complete accident! I didn't mean… it wasn't an accident like _that, _I just mean that I didn't mean for it to happen,

"Why don't you sit down and tell me everything."

"Well he came over last night to hang out, like he's been doing a lot lately. And we got to talking about how much he does for the city, but he wouldn't take a compliment, kept brushing me off when I said that Ladybug would be nothing without him. And then he kissed me and it was so nice and I just kept thinking, '_it's okay you're on birth control, it's okay you're on birth control."_

Marinette took a deep breath, her voice quivering as she struggled to get herself under control again. A tissue appeared out of thin air, attached to her kwami, who was staring at her sympathetically out of her giant blue eyes. The kindness in Tikki's gaze should have made her feel better but it only made it worse.

"I don't even know why I'm crying right now. It's not like I'm sad and I don't regret it being with Chat. I just… I always thought my first time was going to be with Adrien...and it wasn't anything like I imagined it."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No. I don't know. I do love Chat, but I never thought I loved him in _that _way. But he was so sweet last night, and even though I didn't expect it to happen like that…" she went quiet for a second. "I don't regret it being with him, Tikki. Not at all." She smiled a small, watery smile, "I just wish I could stop crying."

"Oh Marinette," Tikki sighed. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. A tristesse after your first time is completely normal, especially for someone as sensitive as you. Let everything come out, and when you're done everything will feel much better."

"I'm just glad he left before I woke up. I don't think I could ever live it down if he saw he like this." Though a small, incessant part of her heart whispered that it would have felt nice to wake up wrapped in his arms, feeling safe and protected the way only Chat could make her feel. But no one knew better than her that he needed to keep his identity a secret.

"If he's half as good a Chat Noir as I think he is, he's not a fair-weather friend. He wouldn't make you feel bad for crying." Tikki pat Marinette's face once more before buzzing round the room like a bee stuck in a jar. She grabbed Marinette's purse and shoes before flying them over to her charge.

"Now come on and wipe your face. Your friends are waiting for you, and you did promise to bring fresh croissants for the picnic."

* * *

"_You're the best Princess." Chat's eyes twinkled as he rubbed his belly, crumbs of macaroons trailing down his front. He lifted his hand up to his face so he could lick his claws for the last little pieces. _

_Marinette giggled at the sight. "You're only saying that because I'm your main source of pastries." She moved the empty plate onto the table next to her computer before sitting back down next to Chat on the chaise._

"_That is… a completely fair point. But I'm serious, Marinette. I really love getting to come here and hang out with you." The boy said it with an unusual air of seriousness. In the evenings they had spent together, he kept her at a distance with puns and jokes. This was the first time they had approached anything close to sincerity. _

"_Well, I guess the pastries and the company are the least I can do, after everything you do to keep Paris safe from akuma. You're really brave, Chat."_

"_Ladybug is who you should be thanking. She's the one who figures it out, every single time. Without her, Hawkmoth would've won a long time ago."_

_Marinette frowned at the mention of her alter ego. At her compliment, Chat had broken eye contact but Marinette knew that it was important for her to hear the next words she had to say._

_Reaching out, she placed her hands on his cheeks, marvelling at the softness of his skin. His breath caught and he looked at her more intently than anyone had ever looked at her before. "Don't do that. You put yourself in danger every time there's an akuma and you take the hit for Ladybug even though you have no way of knowing she's going to be able to save you. You're the bravest person I know, I just wish you would believe me when I say that."_

_A moment's silence. They both knew what was about to happen._

_Chat's lips were on hers in an instant, his hands grasping her waist and bringing her so close she could feel the warmth of his body through her clothes and his suit. Hands were confident as they explored new ground, going further and further. _

_At some point, he lifted her into his arms and she begged him to take her towards the bed._


End file.
